


whether you're here or not

by halle_is_hella_gr8



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Clair de Lune Hit Different, Crying, Drabble, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22029100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halle_is_hella_gr8/pseuds/halle_is_hella_gr8
Summary: *Major Spoilers for all of V3!!*After everything that has happened Shuichi just wants to find some peace. Even if the only peace he can find is in wandering empty streets with the sound of pouring rain being his only companion.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34





	whether you're here or not

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, I wrote this while being very sad and so it might be a bit messy but I'm sad and this game is sad and I want you all to join me in being sad. 
> 
> Also, for the best reading experience listen to rain sounds at the beginning fic and once music is mentioned switch to watching this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KktNZGCV_M8&list=PLb37A0Ftqp0oemQKChviCinZbuoVoLz46&index=74) video.
> 
> Alright, that is all, please enjoy this and if you have any thoughts or anything feel free to leave a comment :)

Four months ago, Himiko, Maki, and Shuichi had escaped the game. They had left the world of Danganronpa and ventured out into the real world, unsure of what it held but certain it was better than what they had known in that dome. Team Danganronpa dissolved and they managed to find a place to live together, somewhere a bit more secluded where people would be less likely to recognize them. The world of Danganronpa might have been gone, but its impact still lingered. Everyday Shuichi was bombarded with images on the news, or updates on fansites, or attacked by his own memory unable to let the experience go. Danganronpa might have ended, but it would never really be over. 

Shuichi often found the only way for him to properly clear his mind was to wander around the mostly empty streets of their town, generally later at night when most people were already home. Fresh air seemed to drive some of the thoughts away, it gave him a reminder of where he was and what he had left in the past. He needed a reminder like that on a rainy fall evening, and so he grabbed an umbrella shoved a hat on his head and headed out. He made sure to tell Himiko and Maki where he was going, just in case anything happened. They could never be too careful. 

The cold air prickled at Shuichi’s skin under his shirt, and he pulled his jacket closer to his body attempting to keep some of the heat in. Rain pelted his umbrella and he pulled his hat down on his head one last time before shoving his free hand deep into his pocket. Since they had gotten out Shuichi had started wearing hats again, giving into old habits. Every time he pulled one onto his head he couldn’t help but think of Kaede. Hear her bright voice or see her beaming smile. Thinking of her, just like that, made Shuichi smile even just a little bit as he roamed the empty streets of what was called downtown. It really was just a few blocks lined with some shops and restaurants but Shuichi enjoyed its atmosphere. Made him feel more alive somehow. 

Due to the rain and the time, no one else was walking the sidewalks with Shuichi. No cars were coming down the road, no couples out on a date enjoying each other’s company. Just Shuichi walking, his only source of light being the street lamps and the lights coming from any places that remained open. He looked up at the murky sky watching as the raindrops fell and made contact with the ground. The rain was comforting for him, it’s almost rhythmic sound brought him a sense of peace, and he was able to enjoy it completely in the lonely silence of the empty street. This was what he needed, a night by himself roaming the familiar streets of his new home, enjoying the world around him instead of focusing on the world he left behind. 

So, Shuichi walked, softly smiling to himself as he admired the scenery. He passed all the usual sights, occasionally looking into the large windows of shops to see if anyone was inside. Sometimes he found bored workers waiting for their shifts to end, sometimes he found people enjoying a casual night out with friends, and other times he was met with nothing. Glass with no light behind it, forcing Shuichi to look at his reflection for a moment before he quickly looked away. He simply walked, with no destination or intention. An escape from his own mind for a while, an excuse to think about nothing. And as Shuichi began to approach the last block of downtown, getting ready to turn around and start heading back he heard something. So soft he swore he was imagining it but so clear that he knew it had to be real. It was a familiar melody slow and sweet, drifting from the only lit-up window on the block. 

Shuichi knew what shop it was, knew what the song was, and yet he continued to walk forward. He knew that it was most likely a bad idea, the complete opposite of what he was supposed to be doing, but his feet moved forward as if he was being pulled. Something was  _ pulling _ him towards the music, towards the shop and so he walked and ended up in front of a large window. The lights were slightly dimmed, but they were still bright enough for Shuichi to make out the beautiful grand piano proudly on display, as well as the teenaged girl delicately playing Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune. 

Now that Shuichi stood in front of the shop he could hear the music clearly as it drifted from the instrument and out into the air. He couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not, could no longer make out the shops that stood on either side of him, could only see  _ her _ sitting there playing a melody so sweet yet so sad. The music poured into his ears and seemed to tap someplace in his soul until it was all he could hear, all he could  _ feel _ . With the music comes images, reminders of things he wanted to leave behind. Thoughts he had been running from for months, his vision seemed to be stained with pink, and then he heard it. 

“ _ I’d be a mess if you weren’t here… _ ” Kaede. He heard her as if she was standing right there with him, could swear he felt her hand gripping his. The rest of the world had melted away it was now only him and her, at least the presence of her that he could feel there. She gripped his hand a bit more tightly, and he started to feel tears slowly roll down his cheek. The strength had begun to be stripped from his body, the unending tiredness he had been feeling for months finally began to set in. There was no reason for him to be smiling, not when she couldn’t be there with him. 

And so his umbrella clattered to the ground, but he didn’t really notice. He couldn’t feel the ice-cold rain soaking through his thin jacket and chilling him down to the bone. All he could feel was the arrival of a new presence, a heavy arm wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him close to a warm body. 

“ _ I’m counting on you as my sidekick… _ ” Kaito. He was there, and he was laughing. That hearty sound that Shuichi missed so desperately filling the air around them. It mingled with the soft melody and Shuichi began to cry harder. He desperately wanted to cling onto Kaito, cry into his chest until he couldn’t cry anymore, but he couldn’t make himself move. Couldn’t make himself try and grab something that wasn’t there even if it felt so real. He could feel Kaito’s warmth and yet something in the back of his mind kept reminding him it isn’t real. They’re gone and there’s no getting them back. 

Shuichi’s legs finally gave out and he collapsed to the ground, knees making contact with the pavement and head sinking. He stared down and his hat slowly slipped from his head clattering into the puddle beneath him. The weight of the hat was soon replaced with something else, a hand weaving its way lightly through his hair, a bit too smooth to be human. 

“ _ I want to help you find the truth… _ ” Kiibo. Running metallic fingers through Shuichi’s damp hair was the cheerful robot, his voice just as prideful as always. Shuichi longed to look up, to see his face smiling down at him instilling that hope in him that he always did, but his gaze remained locked on the ground. Sobs wracked his body forcing pained sounds from his mouth. He shook violently from the cold, but could almost forget about it as Kiibo’s hand gently smoothed out the surface of his hair. He wasn’t real, but Shuichi desperately wished he was. 

The music continued to drift around him, keeping him frozen in place as he suddenly felt warmth surrounding him. Kaito sat down right next to him, squeezing his shoulders tight and whispering words of encouragement. Kaede sat on the other side rubbing circles into his back and instilling in him courage he was unaware he had. And in front of him sat Keebo gently patting his head and reminding Shuichi of the hope that they had all fought for. At that moment Shuichi felt warmth filling his chest, the first glimpse of comfort he had been able to feel in months. Shuichi understood what Kaede said when it was a song that calmed your heart, despite the tears cascading down his cheeks Shuichi felt at peace. Sitting there in the rain with the friends he had lost. 

And then the song ended. The music left him and so did his friends. So did the warmth. He took in a deep, almost panicked, breath and looked up from the sidewalk. The light inside the music shop was dark, and he began to wonder if it had ever been on at all. He felt pathetic sitting there soaking wet on the pavement, eyes puffy from crying. He was glad that there was no one there to see him. His whole body was still shaking but he knew he had to get home soon or Himiko and Maki would begin to worry. So, he slowly gathered his things, not even bothering to hold the umbrella above his head anymore. He was already completely soaked, what was the use? He just let the cold seep into his bones as he walked, letting the falling rain wash away the tears that still pricked at his eyes. Home was not very far, but as he walked it felt as if he would never arrive. 

The streets seemed more empty than before. There were still some people in the shops, the same lights were still on and yet it felt… different. Shuichi wondered if something was missing, even though he knew deep down what it was. Knew that he would carry that sense of emptiness with him wherever he went, the hole that only his friends could fill. There was no leaving that weight behind, he knew that and so did Maki and so did Himiko. Those faces would haunt them for the rest of their lives, those words of love and encouragement suddenly sounding so intensely sad. That weight is why he knew Maki and Himiko wouldn’t question him being dripping wet in their living room, wouldn’t ask “Are you okay?” Since they already knew the answer. They all had nights like these, it was a part of their lives now, and it always would be. 

Finally, Shuichi arrived at the front door of their house, pausing for a moment before he placed the key into the lock. He gave himself a moment, or perhaps an opportunity, to remember the warmth one more time. Perhaps will the presence of his friends to come back, try and make the music begin to play again. But nothing happened. All he could hear was the sound of rain hitting pavement. So he resigned and opened the door hanging his things to the side and letting out a deep sigh. Maybe the walk hadn’t been such a good idea, but he also didn’t know where he could go to escape his thoughts. Maybe, they would just follow him forever, and it was his job to learn how to deal with them. He wasn’t sure but all he knew was that his friends would be beside him forever, whether they were actually there or not. 


End file.
